A Non Feathered Friend
by Phell Down
Summary: Clint comes home to two things. Kate Bishop raiding his apartment like always and Kate, once again, questioning his choices in life. Somehow, there's also a dog involved. Or how Kate Bishop might fit into the MCU.


**There was originally going to be a fic that came before this one but that's not happening anytime soon. So enjoy this oneshot about how Kate Bishop might fit into the MCU.**

 **Shout out to Lil'hawkeye3 and ShinyJuju for beta-ing this for me! Thank you so much, this fic would have been terrible without you.**

 **Update 7/14/16: This oneshot is now part of a series, the full series can be seen on my bio**

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Clint shuffled wearily in front of his apartment's door as he dug his keys out of his pocket. After a long day of avenging and trying not to get blown up, he was ready to take a hot shower to relax his sore and aching muscles. That was, at least, what would have happened if the first thing Clint saw, after pushing the door open with his foot, wasn't Kate Bishop making herself at home in his apartment. She was currently sitting on his kitchen counter and drinking his coffee out of his mug, aiming her unblinking gaze at the back of his worn couch. Clint's entrance through the doorway grabbed Kate's previously occupied attention.

"I didn't know you got a dog, Clint." Kate said as she took a sip of his coffee. Clint was taken off guard by the statement, as Kate completely avoided the subject of her sneaking into his apartment and drinking his coffee out of his best mug. He didn't respond at first; instead, he opted to try to remember if he had locked the windows before leaving.

Realizing that it wouldn't have mattered (Kate would've just picked the locks anyway), Clint responded dryly to her statement. "Could you maybe wait to raid my apartment till I'm actually in it."

Kate cocked her head in fake contemplation. "Nah." Clint let out an exaggerated sigh as he set his keys on the counter. "So about that dog," she reminded, giving him her full attention. Clint pulled out his second best purple mug from the cabinet, since Kate purposefully decided to use his first.

"What dog?" He asked, struggling to keep his sarcasm in check. Kate raised her eyebrows and took a sip of her coffee.

"The dog laying on your couch in my spot. Why else would I be sitting on your kitchen counter?" Kate said while giving him the full 'are you stupid' look.

"Oh, that dog." Clint said as he poured himself what was left of his coffee into the chipped purple mug.

"Yes, that dog."

"He's not mine." Clint said nonchalantly as he leaned up against the counter opposite Kate.

"Then whose dog is it."

"Don't know." Clint took a sip of his lukewarm coffee before deciding it wasn't worth it and dumping it down the sink. Kate really needed to learn how to make coffee that didn't taste like dirt.

"You don't know?" Kate paused as she took another sip of her coffee, seemingly not finding anything wrong with it. "So you stole someone's dog."

"I did not steal someone's dog." Clint, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He has a collar with a name."

Clint gave her a look of exasperation. "Some kids were throwing rocks at him; I couldn't just leave him there."

"Uh-huh. Do you even know what the dog's name is?" Kate retorted as she gave him a questioning look.

"Yes. It's..." Clint paused as he took a moment to think. "Pizza Dog." He finally said with the utmost satisfaction. Kate nearly spit out her coffee at his ridiculous response and was most definitely not choking as she held in non-existent laughter. She gave herself a moment before pointing out the ridiculousness of the name, letting out a few coughs to clear the coffee that was was most certainly not stuck in her throat and, despite whatever Clint said, did not taste like dirt.

"'Pizza Dog?' That's the best you could come up with." Clint shrugged his shoulders, wincing as his shoulders kindly reminded him of their earlier soreness.

"It fits- he likes pizza."

"Clint." Kate put on her most serious face. "Everyone likes pizza, but you don't go around seeing me name people 'Pizza Kid' or 'Pizza Man.'"

"Says you."

"Says any sane person ever." Kate set her mug down on the counter beside her. "Did you even look at what the dog's collar said?"

"...Yes."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "What's it say, then."

"Umm, Lassie?." Kate sighed. "No, wait. Spot." She shook her head at his attempt. "Buddy?"

"It says Arrow."

"No." Clint countered in disbelief.

"Yup."

"That can't stand. There's no way I'm having a dog named Arrow; that's way too much of a cliche. You know what? His name from here on out is officially Pizza Dog."

"You can't name a dog 'Pizza Dog'."

"Fine then... how about Ace?"

"Taken."

"Krypto?"

"Nope."

"Lockjaw."

"You mean like that super bulldog?"

"Right. Cosmo?"

"No."

"Okay, okay. How about…" Clint took a moment to think, making sure this name would count. "Lucky?"

"A classic name for a canine companion, and considering he's going to be living with you, he'll need it. So, I guess it will do."

"I'm still gonna call him Pizza Dog."

"Of course you are."


End file.
